Giving and serving brings back such fulfillment, but so does the receiving.
Do you allow yourself to truly receive? Especially in relationships? In the early stages of my Beloved’s and my love affair, he would often request that I receive more deeply his love, his touch, or his holding me. One evening, while laying clothed on my bed, we looked into each other’s eyes, something I easily melted into, or so I thought. Young in our relationship, the anticipation of connecting more intimately drove the intensity of our gazing. Sharing this stillness and exploring, I felt my heart open as I directed love and admiration towards his sweet blue eyes and tender smile.
He interrupted our silence, and asked me, “Do you feel comfortable receiving?” A little taken by his directness, I welcomed it. His bold honesty and daring were why I was falling in love. Kirk maintained a clarity on his desire to experience an intimate relationship grounded in truth and authenticity.
I paused and took a deep breath, wondering, Do I? With vulnerable introspection, I answered, “Maybe not as much as I thought.” Coming from a previous marriage where trust issues kept me from uniting, I was still holding onto hurt, protection and a wounded heart. I flashed back to moments when I asked my x-husband to be more willing to receive my love. Was this all projection? Was it me who could not receive, take it in and feel worthy of love?
Kirk invited me to try to feel him, be receptive and stop focusing so much on giving to him. And we dove back into our eye gazing, but this time I chose to experience his gifts and take them in. Looking back now, two years later, this was the beginning of becoming a more feminine partner. It took me time to feel worthy of Kirk’s love and let him give and lead. The past beliefs that I was not good enough or that I needed to guard myself held me back. The past habit of finding my worthiness through giving, providing and being the responsible one, took time to overcome and change. The fear of intimacy and being loved is a common theme. Is it yours?
One of the greatest gifts we give another is the gift of receiving.
Yes, we think so often of expression as a one-way path. It is not. Expression is counterbalanced with receptivity. Don’t you just love it when someone fully acknowledges your generosity? Don’t you love seeing someone else happy because of what you offered to them? Isn’t it wonderful when someone says “Thank you” while taking in the gift, the compliment, the offering?
Our love grows when we give and receive. Let the ones who love you have the pleasure of being received.